My deepest apologies to the LGBTIQA community

First of all, I’d like to point out that I’ve never been the best gay. Saying this probably makes me sound even worse than I already feel but it’s true. I’m a shit one. I’ve never been one to attend a rally for gay rights, I’ve never held up signs screaming for equality and I don’t even really attend gay fundraisers of any kind. Although, there was that time I attended the Argonauts trivia fundraiser in August this year and passed out at the table after polishing off more wine than I really should have. That was definitely a mistake. Not the fundraiser part, but the starting-to-drink-while-home-alone-at-midday-on-a-Saturday-knowing-full-well-what-the-evening-held part. The Argonauts, being Melbourne’s gay rowing team, therefore I guess I have been to a gay fundraiser, and from memory I think I went two years prior to that as well. Or was it a year? No, I’m pretty sure it was two years. *Please delete the part where I said I haven’t been to a gay fundraiser because I clearly have..maybe I’m not as bad as I originally thought!* My heartfelt thanks and sorry also goes out to my good friend Scott for taking me home that night, climbing over the gate to get into the property and putting me to bed. It wasn’t the first time and most definitely wont be the last. I remember nil.

Before I explain why I’m apologising, I’d like to say that I’d definitely have someone’s back, gay or straight, if I saw them being discriminated against, because I simply have over the years. I am a strong believer in equality and I hate any type of fear mongering or bullying.

But due to Australia’s current climate I feel like there’s an apology that needs to be made and I feel like it’s time I get it off my chest. I’m sorry. I’m truly, utterly, deeply, sorry.

Sorry 3

The LGBTIQA (is that all the current acronyms or have I missed a few?) community seems fearless in their quest for equality. Being the community that represents and speaks on behalf of lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, intersexes, queers (or those questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation) and allies, I guess if push comes to shove I do fall into that category, even if I don’t participate. But I hate categories. I hate being pigeonholed. And I hate people speaking on my behalf which is why I usually withdrawal and not participate. But on this occasion, I believe I’m wrong to not participate.

I’ve been reading all the posts dominating all our news feeds in all our social media accounts over the last few months and I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. While I can honestly admit that I’m feeling exhausted by the topic of same sex marriage I also think I probably don’t have the right to feel exhausted simply because I haven’t participated in the fight for, or even against, marriage equality. I’m most definitely not against marriage equality because I strongly believe in equality but marriage is not something I aspire to achieve, nor is it something I think I’ll ever do (I pity the fool who ever wants to marry me and put up with my bullshit) therefore I thought it wasn’t something I needed to participate in. Wrong. But having the right to marry should my position change or if I reach a stage in my relationship where I would cherish the opportunity to marry my beau [yes, I’m looking at you Daniel!] could mean a great deal to me at that time. I have many friends who are in same sex relationships who I’m sure would cherish the opportunity and some are even waiting for the laws to change before sealing the deal (J&E, yes, I’m looking at you both and I cannot wait for the day where I can witness the love that you both have for each other at your wedding – if I’m invited – I better be!).

But like I’ve expressed in posts before, I’ve always felt removed from the gay community. I’ve never felt that pull to join the community activities, the crusades, frequent gay bars or surround myself with gays. Simply because I’ve found gays to be some of the most judgemental people I’ve ever met, which I find hard to connect with. But in the lead-up to this government survey and witnessing the rallies on the nightly box and the endless social media posts it’s made me appreciate the community and wish I had played some part in the fight for my equality. Yes, my equality, because in all fairness they are fighting for my equality also.

I’ve also never been shy in my adult life to say how I feel, unless it’s my emotional feelings, and I’ve never been one to openly discuss my sexuality, apart from within this blog, because I find it irrelevant and to be completely honest a boring topic. I don’t introduce myself as “Hi, I’m Shane and I’m gay” because nobody else around me does that either. It’s a personal thing. I’m certainly not ashamed of who I am, but who I choose to fuck and love has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else nor does it impact the life of anyone else therefore I honestly don’t think anyone else should have the right to dictate my relationship and the limits we’re allowed to go. But in this day and age and in the country that we call home this debate is going out to every adult registered to vote, gay or straight, and we all have the opportunity to vote based on our beliefs. And I accept that if it moves us in the right direction and finally puts an end to this debate. And I understand that this postal survey wont put an end to the debate straight away but should the yes vote come back a clear winner I have no doubt that the government will pass an updated marriage bill – they would be completely, utterly, absurd not too, right? And I think in some way this vote will determine whether or not they make this happen. Soo I look upon this vote favourably – lets accept it, get it over and done with and move on [and get married].

I think our, and I now say our as I count myself in the LGBTIQA community, two main oppositions are these; [number one] the religious nut-jobs who hide behind their bible or Jesus slash God or whatever they now call him and [number two] the older generation who are stuck in their ways and unable to think outside the box they have called home their entire lives, and to some degree I don’t blame them for sticking to their guns and what they know is true. But it’s the number ones that infuriate me. They stand on pedestals preaching the Lords prayer and his acceptance for everybody or his forgiveness but when it truly comes down to it they are the epitome of hatred and evil. You follow their belief system or you are living in sin. Bullshit! I’ve been accosted by bible bashers on the streets for not following or questioning their beliefs and I find them to be the most judgemental, self-righteous cunts I’ve ever met. If only we could discover, divulge and persecute all the religious fuck-tards who have played some part in child abuse of any kind within the church. But then I guess, God forgives doesn’t he and his pearly gates [insert filthy thought] will still open to those guilty who have repented but certainly not to those sinners who lie with the same sex. What complete, utter bullshit.

However, I did stumble across the following verse, amongst others, in the story of the bible; {Hebrews 12:4} Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. I admit, I had to look up the word undefiled to get a sense of what it meant and [quote] Something that is undefiled is understood to be something that is pure, wholesome, and without blemish. It is free from stain or blemish and is immaculate or pure and having no faults. [end quote]. I like to think I’m pretty pure (insert laugh), sometimes wholesome but I must admit that my bed has seen some stains and blemishes over the years and I do have many faults.
Maybe I’m taking the bible out of context, who knows, who cares but one thing is for certain; I’m surely not going to heaven. I’m simply on the highway to hell. But I’m pretty sure hell has some better pearly gates that will surely open and well-cum me inside… [End filthy thoughts] [Actually, no, keep em going]…

Some stupid and uneducated people are also quoting the Safe School program in the marriage equality debate to simply spread their inability to accept the actual debate in discussion. Let me make this abundantly clear – the Safe Schools program has absolutely nothing to do with marriage equality and they are only jumping on this bandwagon to confuse people and make it out to be what it’s simply not – They. Are. Two. Different. Topics.

I’d also like to add that I’m not opposed to spending whatever it takes to change the marriage laws and get that one bit closer to equality. Gays are not exempt from paying taxes therefore I’m happy should the government stupidly choose to spend AU$122 million on a postal survey if it means the law could be changed, in which I believe it will be. But lets also be real and completely honest with ourselves – passing a same sex marriage bill does not mean we will all have equality. This is bullshit. This is only one aspect of the equality banner that we can tick off. But I say it will definitely be a move in the right direction.

Up until 1949 Australia still considered sex between two men a capital crime, resulting in execution if you were convicted of sodomy and later reduced to life imprisonment. Decriminalising gay fucking across Australia’s states came as follows, [one] in South Australia on 17th September 1975 – my mum was twenty years of age (sorry mum but I had to put it into perspective but I’m happy to say our home state was first) – [two] the ACT on 4th November 1976, with [three] Victoria following on the 23rd December 1980, just in time for all the gay Christmas sex which I love soo much [Daniel please prepare yourself], [four] the Northern Territory following suit on 4th October 1983 – the year I was born – [five] NSW, the gayest state of them all, on 22nd May 1984, [six] Western Australia, our largest state, on 7th December 1989, again just in time for a steamy christmas root, and last but not least [seven] Queensland on 29th November 1990 after a change of government. Now, I’m assuming you’re wondering where Tasmania sits in all this, am I correct? Well….[eight] Tasmania proved to be the most defiant, and in my opinion most backwards state of them all, and refused to overturn their out-dated sodomy laws until the Commonwealth Government passed the Human Rights (Sexual Conduct) Act 1994 which legalised sexual activity between consenting adults throughout Australia and prohibiting laws that arbitrarily interfere with the sexual conduct of adults in private. Yes, I had to copy and paste that last bit from the internets as I could never use the word “arbitrarily” in a sentence and it actually work nor could I just spell it. But I believe this didn’t yet convince the Tasmanian Government but who cares, you have to cross the ocean to get to them soo lets leave them out of this and move on…

Soo stating the above, that’s five out of eight states to legalise sodomy (bum hole sex – still makes me laugh every-time I say it) during my lifetime and I’m only 29. Yes, I’m 29! Ok, ok, ok I’m sure you’ve done the maths since I stated above that I was born in 1983 so I’m really 34 but please don’t tell anyone. I like to think I’m ageing gracefully. Attention all my friends; shut it!

Like our more liberal friends across the Tasman Sea [New Zealand] I think the day we catch up to them is soon approaching. I believe 2018, if not the end of 2017, will go down in Australian history as the year same sex marriage became legal…And I look forward to that and passing on the history to my children and then grandchildren, should I live that long. [I once read a psychology blog that stated if you wanted to live longer then you had to have regular sex. I’m pretty sure I bookmarked it somewhere – I’ll try to find it and post it at a later date so you can all print, laminate and pop it into your bedside drawers and pull it out (the laminated paper I mean) whenever your partner says they are too tired].

Soo getting back to my apologies…

I’m truly, utterly, deeply, sorry for not being a part of the community that is soo actively protesting for my rights. I’m sorry for not showing my support in something that could quite possibly also change my life because as of today I don’t have the same rights as my straight neighbours or the same rights as my sisters or my mother – mum, please never get married again, three times is enough!

This is my heartfelt apology and my many thanks for the efforts you’ve all made yesterday, today, tomorrow and beyond for my rights. It’s only a matter of time that we catch up to The Netherlands (2001), Belgium (2003), Spain (2005), Canada (2005), South Africa (2006), Norway (2009), Sweden (2009), Portugal (2010), Iceland (2010), Argentina (2010), Denmark (2012), France (2013), Brazil (2013), Uruguay (2013), New Zealand (2013), The UK (2014), Ireland (2015), the USofA (2015), Luxemburg (2015), Colombia (2016), Greenland (2016), Finland (2017) and Slovenia (2017), Germany (2017) and the very first Asian country to legalise same sex marriage, Taiwan (2017).

If sometime in the future that I decide to put a ring on my finger (and no, I don’t mean a warm arsehole or Beyoncé) or Daniel’s finger for that matter I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for giving me that opportunity and for that opportunity to be legally binding and recognised within my home country. I can’t say that I will be standing next to you all holding up equality banners and chanting equality speech but I will make a conscious effort to play some role in the community in the future. Whether that role is to attend a fundraiser, donate to a queer cause or just be more open about who I am, I will give it my best.

Remember, marriage equality will eventually happen. I’m positive of it. I believe Australia will overwhelmingly vote for same sex marriage in this postal survey and I think come 15th November 2017 when the results are posted online it will be in our favour.

Now….I think it’s time to go back to watching Franco cook in his very revealing underwear even though I have absolutely no idea what he’s saying or cooking (but who really gives a fuck, right? Look at him!)…

Love Shane xx

PS: Some of the facts listed in the above has been taken from several sources on the w-w-w (internets). I cannot guarantee they are one-hundred-percent factual and if you believe they aren’t then I welcome your corrections in the comments section below [just make sure you are two-hundred-percent correct or I could tear your dick off]. That last bit was a joke, I wont tear your dick off, I’ll just apologise and move on..

One thought on “My deepest apologies to the LGBTIQA community

  1. Agree with your sentiment in a lot of ways. Some aren’t active enough (like me) but sometimes I feel overwhelmed to do so. Aside from that, thanks so much for the introduction for Franco.

    Liked by 1 person

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